Tuesday, May 21, 2013
just listen.
Honestly,
It's pretty simple.
I only want a little bit of time.
To explain.
In this rhyme.
Don't bother correcting me,
if I'm wrong.
Asking or suggesting,
or chiming in.
On a rhetorical question.
Hear me out.
Hug me,
and then tell me.
I love you.
You'll be ok.
Things like this take time.
And i'll go back to being myself.
Knowing you took the time.
Just to watch my mouth move,
for a second.
Sometimes,
I don't always like hearing myself talk.
I need you to be more present in my life.
Can you not be caught up in yours?
I only ask,
because I know.
Everyone goes through rough times.
You're getting help.
Bettering your life.
But its my turn.
Just listen.
i love you.
thank you.
your welcome.
come home.
let's now giggle and tell stories in my bed.
All my thoughts escape,
like evaporation.
Science.
I will forever know.
I am my mothers daughter.
___________________________________________________________
Surprise Poem !
Hope you all enjoyed your long weekend.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
What the heck are we doing?
Honestly,
What are we teaching our kids?
And I'm in no way a parent.
But as an ECE. I can take a stand.
Why do we let kids play violent video games?
Why are people so affraid to take risks?
Why am I?
How am I changing?
How can I be a better person?
Where does this madness end?
Where do we begin to repair the damage we created?
When did it become acceptable to allow a 10 year old to have a cell phone ?
When will there won't be war, hate, bullying, discrimination, rasism, sexism, etc?
When will better awarness for Mental health be addressed properally?
When will there not be homeless people, families living pay check to pay check, welfare, etc.?
Something has to give.
I can sit here and spew my optimism, positive outlook on life, and tell you as a leafs fan "There's always next year." And to stay that their loss was the result of this post. Is not what I'm all about.
let's start with an incident that happened at work today. I was outside with a class and they had these connector blocks out. They are banned from being put out as an outdoor time activity because this age group likes to build weapons. Now. Before you say..."oh they are just kids...they are so innocent...they don't know." But...their parents know. We as teachers know. I'm trying hard not to point fingers here. I know there are pressures out there to have the best toys for their kids and if they don't they get made fun of. I understand. However, in light of recent heart break:
Boston Marathon Bombings.
12 ( or 19) shot in mothers day walk ( believe it was New Orleans...I'm going on memory).
Earthqakes.
Everyday an innocent bystander dies in Afganistan.
I'm not even touching on teens who end their life, people getting diagnosed with cancer, death, bullying, discrimnation, rape or a school shooting.
We've seen our fair share of school shootings. Is it the gun laws? Possibly. Is it deeper than that...we look to Mental Health. I read today that the average age for someone being diagnosed with a personality disorder is 51. You can correct me if I'm wrong. Too connected to the sound to check.
So back to my story.
The children know they aren't allowed to create any kind of weapon. I went up to ask a little group of them what they were making because I assumed the figures looked like guns. One child said it was a bomb. I wanted to cry. I didn't yell at him. I didn't know where to begin. To explain. To tell him...to remind him of that tradegic day. Instead I took it away from all of them and put the connector blocks away. " We don't build weapons in school." is was I ended up mumering.
How do you explain to a 4-8 year old that has no idea what is going on outside their family? You can't. They learn that from tv, family, interactions, video games, teachers, etc. And again I know they are just kids. They couldn't possibly make that connection to such events. They are soon going to learn about abstract thoughts like, "a cross is a symbol of jesus." Which is universal really. To use an example. How would they ever connect a little figuring they just built...call it a "bomb" and draw a conclusion to an event? Unless they have previously experienced or seen something like that? Where do I as an ECE...person...begin to explain what happened? Answer their questions to why people bring guns into school? How the heck am I supposed to explain that ?
If I don't know. How do they know?
"One day you will understand?" I don't even understand and I'm an adult.
The other day I saw a little girl with an Iphone. I dropped my snack I was eating. I never drop food that I like. I love food. Double fail.
Parents have a tough job at this day an age. Kids don't play all day and almost all night on their street. Kids can't freely walk from the park to meet their friends and back without parent supervision. Kids get bullied, grow up, bully others etc. kids grow up, get bullied until highschool, and end their life. Kids grow up, come out of the closet, cant get the same benefits from marrying the same sex as they would if they married opposite of their sex. Kids grow up, come out, get bullied, end their life. I don't know how else to explain it but this.
Kids are the seeds to the tree of the future.
We give the seed life. Nurture it. Let it naturally experience.
Give it the knoweledge, love, acceptance, respect, support, kindness, and really give it all we got to see them become better people then we ever were. Whatever makes them happy. Gives them a promising future. Gives them a voice to be heard.
Are we listening to our own voices or theirs?
Eventually that seed becomes a young tree. Always wanted to be strong, smart, beautiful, and brave just like their parents and their parents and their parents. Finally they learn that they are all of those things and more. That being someone else, being jealous, or be affraid of. The young tree makes mistakes and lots of them. Sometimes leaves will get old and fall off. Bad things and good things will happen to them. A branch might fall of. They might have a falling out with a fellow tree. Things will eat away at the young tree but will be nursed back to life.
That young tree becomes an adult. Thus becoming the future. Taller and wiser and a better little seed that could. It will look over all the other trees, young trees, seeds, and be a role model. The sun will shine bright behind them never blinding them because they reached their dreams. All because of you.
It's hard to look at the negative but easier to look at the postive. Ignorance. Arrogance. Pity. Are not a good habit to get into. But who am I to tell you what do to? I'm not your parents. At one age you never listened to them and did the exact opposite depsite their wishes. I was 16-18 years old at one time.
I've faced discrimination at work. It's sad to say I grew up having to come home and see the world trade centres vanish before my eyes. That gasp singling my understanding of those people we lost on that day. Conspiracy or not. It happened. Not the event all those beautiful souls. I've seen sexist people in action. I hear it in the music. I see it all the time. I might not know all the struggles but I have struggles of my own. We've all hurt. I am gratiful I have all my needs met. I'd be an hyprocrite if I said I've never been spoiled. I am. I'm also a small percentage of young ladies who are comfortable with who they are, their bodies, looks, features, personality etc.
Everyday I am evolving and changing. The person I was walking into my highschool is not the person I am now. I accept that and welcome it. Bring on the punches and the challenges. I'm stronger then I look. I dream a dream bigger then myself. Bigger then my heart. Bigger then my mind or the people that live on this earth. I can't save the world. I wish Batman was real. However, that is just not reality of which I'm hit with every single day. Although, I've learned that it's not the big things in life its the small things that create connections. I don't just sit here and write a blog for myself. To hear myself talk. I write it so I can hit a cord with someone. Anyone. Everyone. There's so much I want to do just so little time. However, I know I can make a difference. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be the idiot who becomes the hero. I'll tell all my honest truths. I'll get rejected. I'll get doors shut in my face. It won't stop me from being myself or going after I want.
I always said......maybe one day.....I'll quit my job. Go off the grid, no internet, and travel all around the world. I'd motivate people all over the world. I'd take this huge risk ...maybe one day.
I do applogize for this very dark dark post with lit candle in a box.
Sometimes you got to sit back and think....
what the heck are we doing?
What are we teaching our kids?
And I'm in no way a parent.
But as an ECE. I can take a stand.
Why do we let kids play violent video games?
Why are people so affraid to take risks?
Why am I?
How am I changing?
How can I be a better person?
Where does this madness end?
Where do we begin to repair the damage we created?
When did it become acceptable to allow a 10 year old to have a cell phone ?
When will there won't be war, hate, bullying, discrimination, rasism, sexism, etc?
When will better awarness for Mental health be addressed properally?
When will there not be homeless people, families living pay check to pay check, welfare, etc.?
Something has to give.
I can sit here and spew my optimism, positive outlook on life, and tell you as a leafs fan "There's always next year." And to stay that their loss was the result of this post. Is not what I'm all about.
let's start with an incident that happened at work today. I was outside with a class and they had these connector blocks out. They are banned from being put out as an outdoor time activity because this age group likes to build weapons. Now. Before you say..."oh they are just kids...they are so innocent...they don't know." But...their parents know. We as teachers know. I'm trying hard not to point fingers here. I know there are pressures out there to have the best toys for their kids and if they don't they get made fun of. I understand. However, in light of recent heart break:
Boston Marathon Bombings.
12 ( or 19) shot in mothers day walk ( believe it was New Orleans...I'm going on memory).
Earthqakes.
Everyday an innocent bystander dies in Afganistan.
I'm not even touching on teens who end their life, people getting diagnosed with cancer, death, bullying, discrimnation, rape or a school shooting.
We've seen our fair share of school shootings. Is it the gun laws? Possibly. Is it deeper than that...we look to Mental Health. I read today that the average age for someone being diagnosed with a personality disorder is 51. You can correct me if I'm wrong. Too connected to the sound to check.
So back to my story.
The children know they aren't allowed to create any kind of weapon. I went up to ask a little group of them what they were making because I assumed the figures looked like guns. One child said it was a bomb. I wanted to cry. I didn't yell at him. I didn't know where to begin. To explain. To tell him...to remind him of that tradegic day. Instead I took it away from all of them and put the connector blocks away. " We don't build weapons in school." is was I ended up mumering.
How do you explain to a 4-8 year old that has no idea what is going on outside their family? You can't. They learn that from tv, family, interactions, video games, teachers, etc. And again I know they are just kids. They couldn't possibly make that connection to such events. They are soon going to learn about abstract thoughts like, "a cross is a symbol of jesus." Which is universal really. To use an example. How would they ever connect a little figuring they just built...call it a "bomb" and draw a conclusion to an event? Unless they have previously experienced or seen something like that? Where do I as an ECE...person...begin to explain what happened? Answer their questions to why people bring guns into school? How the heck am I supposed to explain that ?
If I don't know. How do they know?
"One day you will understand?" I don't even understand and I'm an adult.
The other day I saw a little girl with an Iphone. I dropped my snack I was eating. I never drop food that I like. I love food. Double fail.
Parents have a tough job at this day an age. Kids don't play all day and almost all night on their street. Kids can't freely walk from the park to meet their friends and back without parent supervision. Kids get bullied, grow up, bully others etc. kids grow up, get bullied until highschool, and end their life. Kids grow up, come out of the closet, cant get the same benefits from marrying the same sex as they would if they married opposite of their sex. Kids grow up, come out, get bullied, end their life. I don't know how else to explain it but this.
Kids are the seeds to the tree of the future.
We give the seed life. Nurture it. Let it naturally experience.
Give it the knoweledge, love, acceptance, respect, support, kindness, and really give it all we got to see them become better people then we ever were. Whatever makes them happy. Gives them a promising future. Gives them a voice to be heard.
Are we listening to our own voices or theirs?
Eventually that seed becomes a young tree. Always wanted to be strong, smart, beautiful, and brave just like their parents and their parents and their parents. Finally they learn that they are all of those things and more. That being someone else, being jealous, or be affraid of. The young tree makes mistakes and lots of them. Sometimes leaves will get old and fall off. Bad things and good things will happen to them. A branch might fall of. They might have a falling out with a fellow tree. Things will eat away at the young tree but will be nursed back to life.
That young tree becomes an adult. Thus becoming the future. Taller and wiser and a better little seed that could. It will look over all the other trees, young trees, seeds, and be a role model. The sun will shine bright behind them never blinding them because they reached their dreams. All because of you.
It's hard to look at the negative but easier to look at the postive. Ignorance. Arrogance. Pity. Are not a good habit to get into. But who am I to tell you what do to? I'm not your parents. At one age you never listened to them and did the exact opposite depsite their wishes. I was 16-18 years old at one time.
I've faced discrimination at work. It's sad to say I grew up having to come home and see the world trade centres vanish before my eyes. That gasp singling my understanding of those people we lost on that day. Conspiracy or not. It happened. Not the event all those beautiful souls. I've seen sexist people in action. I hear it in the music. I see it all the time. I might not know all the struggles but I have struggles of my own. We've all hurt. I am gratiful I have all my needs met. I'd be an hyprocrite if I said I've never been spoiled. I am. I'm also a small percentage of young ladies who are comfortable with who they are, their bodies, looks, features, personality etc.
Everyday I am evolving and changing. The person I was walking into my highschool is not the person I am now. I accept that and welcome it. Bring on the punches and the challenges. I'm stronger then I look. I dream a dream bigger then myself. Bigger then my heart. Bigger then my mind or the people that live on this earth. I can't save the world. I wish Batman was real. However, that is just not reality of which I'm hit with every single day. Although, I've learned that it's not the big things in life its the small things that create connections. I don't just sit here and write a blog for myself. To hear myself talk. I write it so I can hit a cord with someone. Anyone. Everyone. There's so much I want to do just so little time. However, I know I can make a difference. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be the idiot who becomes the hero. I'll tell all my honest truths. I'll get rejected. I'll get doors shut in my face. It won't stop me from being myself or going after I want.
I always said......maybe one day.....I'll quit my job. Go off the grid, no internet, and travel all around the world. I'd motivate people all over the world. I'd take this huge risk ...maybe one day.
I do applogize for this very dark dark post with lit candle in a box.
Sometimes you got to sit back and think....
what the heck are we doing?
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Genie in a bottle
Honestly,
If a magic genie lamp, you know, like the famous one in "Aladin" showed up on your front door. Would you wish to start over?
Now. The assumiton is that you regret something and want to do it over. Or you generally wish you had a different life. That's not what I am implying. Mainly because I know that if I wished for a different life, or did something over it would affect the life I have now. Things would be different, relationships, and maybe even who my parents are? Would I be the same person? Probably not. And for one, I like who I am. So when I say...a magical genie lamp ended up on my front door....would I do something over?
That answer would be yes. Not that I live in regret, shame, or in the past. I just always wonder how I could be a better person.
But let's break this down.
Everyday is a new one.
Books begin and end.
You live and die.
You meet someone, fall in love, break up or get married....etc.
I feel like starting over has a negative stigma attached to it. When really it could be a positive thing.
When I broke up with my boyfriend not to long ago. I wrote down some goals.
A) Spring clean
B) Include healthy eating and activity into my life.
C) Learn from life lessons and expecations in relationships.
D) Drop any guy that you know you deserve better...
E) Run/ jog/ fast walk the "Color Me Rad" 5K run.
F) Do things for yourself for once.
Spring cleaning kind of was needed in my room. I have clothes that I don't wear anymore or are too big/ small for me to wear. Recently, from working out almost everyday...I went from 142 to 134. I plan on living a healthier lifestyle knowing that on both sides of my family heart disease is promident.
So, I spent two hours organizing my closet and drawers. And then after feeling accomplished and hung out with my parents with a bowl of ice cream.
Since, I have been training for the run in toronto. Everyday I try to do something active. And I'm not talking about a heavey two hour work out. Just a bit of cardio in my day. Dancing when no one is home, riding my bike, walking along the beach downtown burlington, taking the empties to the beer store etc. Just getting out of the house and soaking up that beautiful sun!
Confession. Yes I have a little black book. But I'm chucking that out the window and ending that chapter of my life. It's time to get a new one. HAHAHAHA. No. I mean I gotta really try out this single life. I'm really not on the prowl for a rebound. One night stands rarely happen nor do I like them. Booty calls are just plain desperate. I'm just going to sit back, relax, and let things fall where they may.
Color me rad in Toronto will be a blast ! I am so determined to actually run it. I know it's not a big deal to walk in, but I'm doing this thing with a group of girls. Some of whom are actually in great phyical shape. And I want to keep up. It's time to end being lazy, hanging out in bed, watching movies, and eating chips...get outside and do something! Anything!
This last one is a big one. And probably a bigger challenge. Doing things for myself. I'm a care giver, people pleaser, big hearted girl, and always thinking of others before me. So maybe tweaking how much I do for others, and instead start doing more things for myself. Take care of me the most. Would be benieftial.
Besides I have two wishes left if anything goes wrong ! HAHA! Love my readers !
Enjoy your weekend !
Don't drink and drive!
Shan xoxo.
that blogger chick.
If a magic genie lamp, you know, like the famous one in "Aladin" showed up on your front door. Would you wish to start over?
Now. The assumiton is that you regret something and want to do it over. Or you generally wish you had a different life. That's not what I am implying. Mainly because I know that if I wished for a different life, or did something over it would affect the life I have now. Things would be different, relationships, and maybe even who my parents are? Would I be the same person? Probably not. And for one, I like who I am. So when I say...a magical genie lamp ended up on my front door....would I do something over?
That answer would be yes. Not that I live in regret, shame, or in the past. I just always wonder how I could be a better person.
But let's break this down.
Everyday is a new one.
Books begin and end.
You live and die.
You meet someone, fall in love, break up or get married....etc.
I feel like starting over has a negative stigma attached to it. When really it could be a positive thing.
When I broke up with my boyfriend not to long ago. I wrote down some goals.
A) Spring clean
B) Include healthy eating and activity into my life.
C) Learn from life lessons and expecations in relationships.
D) Drop any guy that you know you deserve better...
E) Run/ jog/ fast walk the "Color Me Rad" 5K run.
F) Do things for yourself for once.
Spring cleaning kind of was needed in my room. I have clothes that I don't wear anymore or are too big/ small for me to wear. Recently, from working out almost everyday...I went from 142 to 134. I plan on living a healthier lifestyle knowing that on both sides of my family heart disease is promident.
So, I spent two hours organizing my closet and drawers. And then after feeling accomplished and hung out with my parents with a bowl of ice cream.
Since, I have been training for the run in toronto. Everyday I try to do something active. And I'm not talking about a heavey two hour work out. Just a bit of cardio in my day. Dancing when no one is home, riding my bike, walking along the beach downtown burlington, taking the empties to the beer store etc. Just getting out of the house and soaking up that beautiful sun!
Confession. Yes I have a little black book. But I'm chucking that out the window and ending that chapter of my life. It's time to get a new one. HAHAHAHA. No. I mean I gotta really try out this single life. I'm really not on the prowl for a rebound. One night stands rarely happen nor do I like them. Booty calls are just plain desperate. I'm just going to sit back, relax, and let things fall where they may.
Color me rad in Toronto will be a blast ! I am so determined to actually run it. I know it's not a big deal to walk in, but I'm doing this thing with a group of girls. Some of whom are actually in great phyical shape. And I want to keep up. It's time to end being lazy, hanging out in bed, watching movies, and eating chips...get outside and do something! Anything!
This last one is a big one. And probably a bigger challenge. Doing things for myself. I'm a care giver, people pleaser, big hearted girl, and always thinking of others before me. So maybe tweaking how much I do for others, and instead start doing more things for myself. Take care of me the most. Would be benieftial.
Besides I have two wishes left if anything goes wrong ! HAHA! Love my readers !
Enjoy your weekend !
Don't drink and drive!
Shan xoxo.
that blogger chick.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
