dating life lessons?

Honestly,

 Writing rules is like, my mom telling me to make my bed. Sometimes, I dont wanna, I dont hafttaaa, or I'll do it later. So, for me, sharing my list with no title, is a little weird. Maybe it can provide a perspective? I mean. My last relationship didn't end so well. And well to stay honest, my track record of boyfriends...keeping boyfriends...hasn't been the best. I've accepted somethings about myself. I took some time to look over my life, what keeps me happy, what I want, where I want to go, what I want to do etc. While I did that, I've also learned some hard to life lessons. It's been weird taking care of myself then focusing on others. Call me selfish, cause I know I am. I get to be for now. S0, while I've been busy with my life, work, single and mingling; I've come up with a few life lessons? I don't want to call them rules. These are really just things I've learned. And I'm choosing to share them with you, cause I love ya. Here it goes:

- If he is interested he'll text you first. 

this one was hard for me to grasp. I'd get so excited that a hot guy was texting me and i'd shoot him texts like no one business. Then it just pours water on the spark, ya know? You gotta keep that fire goin. 

If you give him your number at a bar, or where ever the lucky guy, managed to hold you into a decent conversation, long enough, for you to brave the unknown. And he doesn't text you right away, the next day, or on the third day/night. Don't fret. Patience. Try not to think about it so much. Just do you. 

-If he texts you first. Wait at least 10 minutes before answering.

I don't know why I started doing this. But my rationale is the guy texted me...he could wait a little longer. Maybe I'm a tease? Or maybe I was just busy doing something? He has no idea. But some how it holds his attention. 

-If the conversation goes dull or he doesn't reply back in an hour or so. Or you sent the last text and he hasn't replied. let it be. Put your phone away and dont stress over it. I close my the conversation so I'm not tempted to text him a story. He's busy. Give him space. If he knows what's good for him he'll text back. If not. His loss. 

-if he gives you his number. The power is all yours. Ball is in your court. Usually I wait  3 days after to text him. That was his risk he took giving you his number. You have a choice. Text him or don't. No ones judging you. If you remember what you saw and liked then go for it. If not throw away the gum wrapper with his name and number on it. 

-if you text him after three days. Conversation is great. Talk on the phone. He makes plans to cook you dinner and hang out. And then he bails/ disappears. Forget about him. Other fish in the sea.  And it's not your fault this happened. The guy is probably busy. In the meantime, don't wait around! Get out there ! Dance ! Have a good time with friends! Maybe he will come around? If not? Don't sweat it. 

I've grown up a bit over the past year. I've learned that i'm independent and I try not to depend so much on others. In a way it protects me from bull shit. I still let people in and treat them like family. But when it comes to relationships and guys I'm interested in. I've recently discovered I go for guys who are independent as well. Right now, I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want to be exclusive. So an open relationship works. I'm not into one night stands. Been down that road, it's not my style. I like starting a relationship as friends while getting to know each other. Whatever happens from there happens. We could stay friends or it could turn out that we like each other more then friends. 

I'm attracted to personality, honesty, communication, fun, adventure, randomness, music, creativity etc in a man. I like dem relatively tall (but i'm not too picky), smell good, great smile, great attitude, and big dreams...among other things. I don't want men lined up at my door way with flowers and a cheeky smile tomorrow. I'd shit a brick.  Anyways...

You know that feeling when someone is beside you? Your bed is a little less colder, a little warmer then usual. That company or feeling of just knowing there's a breathing person beside you. Sometimes thats all it takes to keep me happy. Who doesn't love cuddles? Falling asleep with your friend after talking for hours about random shit. laughing. Maybe kissing a little? It feels like you are boyfriend and girlfriend. But you aren't. You've created this bubble where no one knows what you really are. And you both don't really care or already know or like things the way they are. It's mysteriously awesome. Even though all your friends know there's something between you. You don't hang off each other. You're comfortable going up to the bar and flirting with the cute bartender. And there's no jealousy. You're both available. 

And then the inevitable will happen. This is because it won't be a blissful relationship. He or she will want more. One of them wants things the way they are. So the other goes and looks for the missing puzzle piece he or she thought he or she had. Are you catching my drift? It won't always be sunshine and rainbows. And that's when you say. I want you to be happy even if it's not with me. And you move on. But until then. Waking up in the morning to a smiley face is happiness to me. 

I've found and will keep the things that make/ keep me happy around me. It's taken me awhile to be truly satisfied. And even though it's still weird doing things for myself. i like getting to experience the things i never would have...if i didnt step out of my comfort zone or my bubble. 

Woah this blog post started somewhere and ended different. HOW IRONIC!

Going to the Matchbox 20 and Goo Goo Dolls concert tonight at the Molson Amphitheater.  it's gonna be a blast :D

stay safe ! 

Music Appreciation

Honestly,

When you see a cross, what do you think? Two sticks put together and tied with twine? Or Jesus Christ?

When you see red, blue, and white flashing lights. The sound of a fast car coming from behind you, and a loud siren. You get the hell out of the way. Police car has somewhere important to be. Or...you are being pulled over. 

When you see a no smoking sign...it means exactly what it is. Can't smoke here. You shouldn't be anyways!

When you see a no parking sign. Don't freaking park there or you will be towed.

However, in all seriousness, when you hear music. You think a million different things. 

Therapy 

Happiness

knee slappin honkey tonk good ol time

calm

sadness

anger

Big band

little band

gospel 

"I need another beer"

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS ! EVERYBODYYYY!

" I love you"

"I hate you"

"I miss you"

"WE ARE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER!"

Music literally covers all the bases. From the beginning of time to where music is now and what music could become. Music is like a whole person, body, mind and soul. It's psychological, philosophical, cognitive, physical, and just plain awesome. 

So when people ask me...

"What kind of music are you into?"

And they don't want to hear some general answer like,

"Oh everything."

They're making conversation, trying to see what interests you/ what you have in common with each other.

SO I say:

"I have an appreciation for music. There is stuff I don't really listen to. But I'm open to hearing different styles/ genres."

And then the conversation flows after that. Naturally.

I mean we look at the classics:

Billy Idol 

The Beatles

Michael Jackson

Shania Twain

Paul Brandt

Rolling stones

Queen

Elton John

Annie Lennox

Elvis Presley 

Jimmy Hendrix

Eminem

Tupac

ZZ top

KISS

George Michael

Tim McGraw

The who

N'Sync 

Backstreet boys

Beastie boys

I could go on forever. The list doesn't end. But these people influenced artists like Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber, John Mayor, Luke Bryan, Justin Timberlake, etc. And it's so easy so so easy to point and laugh behind a screen. Recently, Justin Beiber and Taylor Swift have been in almost every celebrity magazine. They get judged on what they do and not what the produce. And even then one person loves their songs and ten people hate them. Which is fine because I'm a critic too! But I really think people just loose appreciation for the lyrics, the instruments, the whole process of putting out an album because it ain't easy. It's just as hard if not worse to get noticed for talent. Then to make an album shortly after and have it stepped all over. These are people's jobs! It must be tiring trying to please everyone at once and try to please yourself. 

I look at Lady Gaga.  Classically trained, been playing piano all her life. Dropped out of a art school and now look at her. She  creates music people believe in. It's not just all about her cause she does her own thing. It's the messages in her songs. It's that she puts everything she has in it to make it the best. And writes or co writes every song. She got dropped from Def Jam now....no one can touch her she's so freaking awesome. The best part is what she does for others. How she brings people together, like the Beatles did. She gives back and reaches out. She's human. And real. She's a role model. If I were amazingly talented( which comes with hard work) like her. I'd do it exactly the way she is doing it now. Cause no one is doing it. She's so original. Anyone who tries to copy her looks like a phoney. Or a rebel. Or a diva. She's just herself. And that's what's so amazing. She does her own thing. Everyone doesn't all love her, but from this generation forward. She left a mark on society. She changed and possibly saved lives. She will be remembered. If she played acoustic guitar or electric. Even the drums for one of her shows. It'd be sick. Even if she sticks to the piano she'll never fade out. Cause her little monsters won't let her.

I look at Taylor Swift. The fact that she writes her own lyrics, music, and she nails it. OK. This is going to sound mean. I've heard blown away, jaw dropping, standing ovation voices. Taylor can sing. But. It's her lyrics. It's her connection to her fans. Ya so what she writes about dudes or ex boyfriends? She made a huge risk moving to Nashville. And she's pulling it off and proving to haters that she's not going anywhere anytime soon. Everyone is just so fascinated to find out WHO she dated etc. Maybe they should leave the lyrics up to interpretation. And they are relatable. Witty. Cute. Catchy. And if you haven't been caught singing "22" or "We will never get back together" or "I knew you were trouble" or "The lucky one" ...well i could name off the whole "Red" album. Then you aren't doing it right! How could you not want to sing along to those songs?! They are so different from her older stuff but just as good. That "RED" album, I associate a certain someone from my past. But I have no shame in standing up for her. It's like. She says everything you want to say, and can't seem to figure it out, but she beats you too it, and nails it in song form. So what she's seen a lot of HOT actors/ artists? She could buy a hockey team with her net worth. And people just bring her down every chance they get. Calling her a slut for living her life how she pleases. That's just silly. Most of us are adults. We shouldn't be setting bad examples for little pre teens. Anyways, I will forever love Taylor Swift. She writes lyrics that mean something. 

I look at Ke$ha. Who is just plain weird but i freaking love it. Cause well...I'm so weird. And I've been watching her new reality show on MTV. That girl is awesome. I'm going to a Pitbull and Ke$ha concert this wednesday coming up. And i can't wait to sing to all of her songs. I mean. I don't know them all but i'm a huge fan. This is another woman who has struggled with the media AKA Perez Hilton. And didn't deserve that non sense he wrote about her. He has the power to change peoples perspectives on other artists but it ain't right. When I look at Ke$ha, I sometimes find myself. Little ugly duckling Shannon in high school. Couldn't get guys to look at her and now look at us. People just wanna get in on the action and take a look behind the scenes. How we got to be... dieing to know this beautiful person. She writes her own music. She's struggled. But again, she does her own thing. I respect that. And she's talented. I mean "C'mon" !!! Her songs are sooooo catchy! She just seems so real. Like what you see is what you get. And I'm the same way. 

I look at Justin Beiber. And think. Shit, he's going through a rough patch with the media. And he should. He's young, makes mistakes, and gets a little wild. So what? Better now then a serious problem to booze or hard drugs. If he wants to smoke weed. No one. Not even his fans can stop him. Will maybe his mom. But Patty is an angel! She created a voice and talent. A boy that is becoming a man and changed the face of music. His documentary was so moving i cried. It made me want to keep playing guitar. And not to keep a guy...because I love playing for me. Justin also gives back. He's a good person. His songs will live on by themselves. And for the record, I don't know how much of the press is real or  fake. But everyone just loves to see a star fall. It's so sad. He's trying to make a living. Just leave him be. His fans are a little....hardcore. But they believe in him. And that's cool to see.  I mean  I can sit here and go on and on about every artist that has influenced me or society. 

But, that would take me years. Frankly, this is just my opinion. This is my appreciation. Don't get me wrong I can sit here and spit out words about each artist and what they are doing wrong. Although, who am I to judge? I've never made an album. I don't often sing to get noticed. My shower thinks I'm Mariah Carry. But only in the shower. Obviously. And ya I'll keep getting better. I just don't think I'm the type of person to survive that kind of lifestyle. Don't get me wrong I like being the party and center of attention. It's just not right for me. So when people hate other musicians. And critize them. It's really just bullying unless they have actually good advise to help them. Then tear them down. 

So that's my rant. It's hard to be like, "Just be kind to everyone." Cause it's impossible to eliminate hate. But not impossible to create awareness. It's possible that there will be artists that rise above the rest. Like the musicians i've mentioned. And beat em all out in one punch. Knock music over on it's ass and just winnnnnn. The future is impossible to predict. For all you know I could become a viral hit on youtube? Or star on Ellen? Or become a best seller author? Is it too much to ask though, that people just appreciate that there's even music at all? Everything is connected in some way. I just feel like it's so much harder to waste energy and hate. When you can be productive, learn new things, do the things you love. And it wouldn't be the same world without these artists...we can all be honest about that. 

Don't text/ drink or drive!

Arrive alive

Be safe

have fun

Happy Saturday

Cheers! Love!

Shan